"Why on Earth Me": The Dreaming Insomniac Part II

After a pathetic breakfast of aloo bonda or deep fried potato balls, which feels like heavy lead in your stomach, Vinod and I parted ways to our classes. Not particularly interested in attending them though. If it hadn't been for the attendance requirement per semester, I would've spent my time in more productive and fruitful ventures. I believe I'm not the only one who believes so...

It simply beats my wildest imaginations and the entire lot of reasoning faculties that I possess, how is it possible, of all the things in this universe, to sit through fifty minutes of technical discourses, which is filled with grammatical errata and wrong usage of the English language, than anything that is remotely technical. Oh! Did I forget to say that the medium of instruction is English, which of course is often interspersed with the popular idiomatic expressions , sighs and emotional calls in the local vernacular language. Indifference to this environment might lead you to be caught in situations resulting consequences described in my earlier post What is Froth flotation? Now doesn't all this make a congenial and healthy environment for supreme technical education?

Weary Eyed and tired, here I was, in this ventilated chamber with the other wannabe tech numskulls; a good section of whom were interested in only getting into the good books of these pseudo gurus. I guess that's what they all do anywhere and everywhere. That wasn't my concern anymore, thanks to the last three years of indifference; I am neither in any mood nor in a position to change. All I knew at the moment was that I had three sets of forty minute sermons to bear, of which two were by the same person. This particular character was known for her passion for anything supersized, including herself. She craved for breathing spaces, which were, by and large hogging spaces. Every small time interval she could find for herself, she would perform the Houdini. The next instant she could be spotted in the canteen. Back to the class, our lady comes up with some of the most innovative ideas to explain certain concepts; different matter that she fails miserably. She is an expert in the English language. One could have said that she speaks the Queen's English, the catch being, had she been the queen.

Amidst her rendition, I noted down some of her pearls of wisdom...

"I have a 20ampere current in my hand (yeah rite! If it were true, you'd have a charred hand!! ) and a 30Volt voltage...."

"No photodiode will not conduct.."

Some amazing new concepts too..

"Output/Input = Loss"

She also has this commendable habit of substituting the unknown with "the thing". And since her knowledge of the subject is far and wide, her sentences are filled with "the things". Towards the end of her two straight stretches of rendition, she proposes that the last unit of the syllabus be seminar series, which of course, means that the unit would be divided into topics with a chosen few of students taking a topic each for at least half an hour.

The moment she announce the good news, the junta went into a state of frenzy. Confusion filled the room. Chaos as though an elephant had run amok. There was panic in the air. The fear of genocide was making the rounds, for deterrence and defiance meant treason, which was a cardinal sin and meant facing extermination. The mystery continued, who is it going to be? Chinki? Shagan? Veeru? Shanky? Tarun? Ram? Chatley? Who is it going to gong to be? Amidst all this, the elephant lifted its trunk and in a loud trumpet rattled the classroom, putting an end to the suspense. The loud thud that I received woke me up from my classroom slumber!

"You! Allfi (that's how she calls me)!! You will take the first seminar. Basics of Lasers!" ME?? What? Are you sure? Me? Why on earth me? Didn't you find anyone else? I mean, I didn't even disturb your class! I didn't laugh at your stupid comments and pathetic language! What on earth have I done?

"Tomorrow 1:30 you have to gave the thing and if you wanted the LCD thing get the consensus from Sampath." A Jew could never speak against the Fuhrer, could he?